I'm in the library wandering around, and I come across How Could You Do That?!: The Abdication of Character, Courage, and Conscience. By Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
I open it to a page, and read the following:
"Matt, fourteen, learned by talking to me. Matt's mom had stopped talking to him since she walked in on him and his girlfriend getting dangerously close to "doing it." From my conversation with Matt, it seemed clear that she hadn't talked to him about many important life issues even before this incident.
I asked him to pick one from the following possible motivations for his wanting to have sex at age fourteen:
1. To make a baby and to become a father?
2. To express a deep and life-long love?
3. To express a marital commitment?
4. To look cool to his friends?"
Okay, I'm not disputing the need to talk to kids about "doing it", because I think that it's important.
But what the fuck is up with those options?
First of all, where's the option for "I'm having sexual feelings and exploring that". Why does sex have to be this huge life time commitment? Why can't I really like, or even love someone, and have sex with them but not expect a forever relationship? Why does it have to be a deep and life-long love? Why can't it be a deep and 3-4 year long love? Why can't it be a shallow and fleeting love? Why love at all? I mean, heck, can't I just fuck for the sake of fucking?
14 is very young, and I'm not disputing that sex is serious and can have serious complications, but the kid is given other adult reasons for having sex (baby making?) so why aren't those presented?
And another thing, if option 2 is to "express a deep and life-long love" then what would "to express a marital commitment" mean? Is there some other reason to have sex in a marriage except to express a deep and life-long love/make babies? Does this mean boning on your wedding night, or boning when you don't feel like it because your married?