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mmmmm [06 Sep 2011|01:41am]
Last night I had a sex dream
Alexander Skarsgard, in an abandoned shack, in the woods.
f 5 c k !!!

[19 Jan 2011|05:52pm]

I'm in the library wandering around, and I come across How Could You Do That?!: The Abdication of Character, Courage, and Conscience. By Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

I open it to a page, and read the following:
"Matt, fourteen, learned by talking to me. Matt's mom had stopped talking to him since she walked in on him and his girlfriend getting dangerously close to "doing it." From my conversation with Matt, it seemed clear that she hadn't talked to him about many important life issues even before this incident.
I asked him to pick one from the following possible motivations for his wanting to have sex at age fourteen:
1. To make a baby and to become a father?
2. To express a deep and life-long love?
3. To express a marital commitment?
4. To look cool to his friends?"

Okay, I'm not disputing the need to talk to kids about "doing it", because I think that it's important.

But what the fuck is up with those options?
First of all, where's the option for "I'm having sexual feelings and exploring that". Why does sex have to be this huge life time commitment? Why can't I really like, or even love someone, and have sex with them but not expect a forever relationship? Why does it have to be a deep and life-long love? Why can't it be a deep and 3-4 year long love? Why can't it be a shallow and fleeting love? Why love at all? I mean, heck, can't I just fuck for the sake of fucking?

14 is very young, and I'm not disputing that sex is serious and can have serious complications, but the kid is given other adult reasons for having sex (baby making?) so why aren't those presented?

And another thing, if option 2 is to "express a deep and life-long love" then what would "to express a marital commitment" mean? Is there some other reason to have sex in a marriage except to express a deep and life-long love/make babies? Does this mean boning on your wedding night, or boning when you don't feel like it because your married?

WTF?
f 1 c k !!!

[04 Jan 2011|09:00pm]

I will be probably be 26-27 (if not older) when I get my B.A., and owe who knows how much money, I don't even want to think about it.
 

I guess this isn't really old at all, but it kind of depresses me to think that kids I graduated High School with are already finishing up school.

I know that it doesn't matter, and that school took me a long time because it had to, and for me this is actually better.

But I don't know... 27? Yikes.


f 1 c k !!!

[05 Jul 2010|04:57am]
I am a fool and I wonder if I've ever been anything but.
!!!

[04 Jul 2010|05:42pm]
I have made an obscene amount of summer rolls... and I still have 14 more to go. My back hurts real bad from standing in the kitchen, though, so I'm taking a break.
Erick is having a BBQ today at his house (hence the summer rolls). His parents are going to be there. They are visiting from Arizona. I have never met them before.

I'm trying to start sleeping on my back.
This is much, much harder than in sounds.
I read that less than 5% of people change their natural sleep position.
I'm pretty determined, though.
f 1 c k !!!

music heeelp [30 Jun 2010|08:15pm]
I need sexy music. Preferably somewhat slow, but not too slow.
Something sexy a person could dance to, possibly while removing clothing.
I don´t really have a genre preference, but I´m trying to find songs I haven´t heard before. So the less mainstream the better, I suppose.
f 6 c k !!!

[28 Jun 2010|03:37am]
Por que você não pode me dizer que sentes minha falta
mas pode lo dizer pra seus amigos?

De todo o mundo, eu não sou uma pessoa de que pode sentir falta?
!!!

no that is not a typo [27 Jun 2010|07:56pm]

I live in the apartment building right next to the office and pool.
I always hear the kids horsing around down there.
Right now they are playing "Marco Pollo".
f 3 c k !!!

Writer's Block: A rose by any other name [07 Jun 2010|08:58am]
Do you like your birth name? If you had the opportunity to change it, would you? What new name would you choose?

No one even calls me by my birth name.
f 4 c k !!!

[02 Jun 2010|12:09am]
Today I saw the facebook of the guy who raped me, Joe Adams.
It says he's going to CFCC for psychology.

I haven't seen him in years, so I don't know what kind of person he is now
but the thought of him working as a therapist or counselor
or being in any way that mentally or physically close to someone like that
makes me fucking nauseous.
f 7 c k !!!

[24 May 2010|09:31pm]
http://putintheritzon.ytmnd.com/
f 2 c k !!!

Wait by Galway Kinnell [18 May 2010|11:11am]
Wait, for now.
Distrust everything, if you have to.
But trust the hours. Haven't they
carried you everywhere, up to now?
Personal events will become interesting again.
Hair will become interesting.
Pain will become interesting.
Buds that open out of season will become lovely again.
Second-hand gloves will become lovely again,
their memories are what give them
the need for other hands. And the desolation
of lovers is the same: that enormous emptiness
carved out of such tiny beings as we are
asks to be filled; the need
for the new love is faithfulness to the old.

Wait.
Don't go too early.
You're tired. But everyone's tired.
But no one is tired enough.
Only wait a while and listen.
Music of hair,
Music of pain,
music of looms weaving all our loves again.
Be there to hear it, it will be the only time,
most of all to hear,
the flute of your whole existence,
rehearsed by the sorrows, play itself into total exhaustion.


f 2 c k !!!

from Supernatural Forces by Lawrence Raab [16 May 2010|03:58pm]
Do you want this?
If I take it away, will you want it more?

Or will you forget? That’s the problem
with absence, it leaves itself open
to so much.
!!!

oh by the way [10 May 2010|11:46pm]
I got a bunny friend for Signy. I put an ad on craigslist and this lady that rescues Chinchillas had one. He's about 3 years old, and I think he's a Holland Lop. He was already fixed so that's awesome.

He's super sweet, and pretty much the exact opposite of Signy. Where she is shy and quick he's calm and lumbering. He likes being pet by anybody capable of petting, and if he likes to lick (aawww).

My roommate and I named him Winston "Meatball" Churchill.

He is an oaf:





 
more bunniesCollapse )
f 4 c k !!!

my life right now [10 May 2010|04:22pm]
I'm smoking a cigarette in the house (I am not a smoker), and ashing into a can of Natty Light that's been sitting on my desk for a couple days.
f 1 c k !!!

[05 May 2010|03:11am]
I have spent the better part of the past two days in bed.


Tomorrow I actually have to leave my house.
!!!

Juan Ramon Jimenez [15 Apr 2010|02:02pm]
Mares

¡Siento que el barco mío
ha tropezado, allá en el fondo,
con algo grande!
¡Y nada
sucede! Nada... Quietud... Olas...

-¿Nada sucede; o es que ha sucedido todo,
y estamos ya, tranquilos, en lo nuevo?-


-------


Oceans

I have a feeling that my boat
has struck, down there in the depths,
against a great thing.
And nothing
happens! Nothing... Silence... Waves...

–Nothing happens? Or has everything happened,
and are we standing now, quietly, in the new life?

(translation by Robert Bly)
!!!

[30 Mar 2010|01:01am]
Shit is too confusing to deal with sometimes.
There's no "right" answer, but yet there seems to be tons of wrong ones.
!!!

watch smiley face [28 Mar 2010|01:39am]
Do you smoke weed? Do you like watching movies?
Do you like doing both AT THE SAME TIME?

If so, then get really high and watch Smiley Face.

Anna Faris is the protagonist, Jim from The Office is in it, Seth from the O.C. is in it, that really funny lady from 40 Year Old Virgin (the boss lady) and a bunch of other movies I can't remember because I'm high right now. And some other people, whatever, I linked to IMDb right up there.

Basically, Jane (Anna Faris) gets really high while playing video games. Then she gets really hungry, so she eats cupcakes her roommate baked that she was expressly forbidden to eat. All of them. Surprise! They are weed cupcakes, so now she's incredibly high, and has this huge misadventure.
It does a really good job of showing what it's like to be way too goddamn high. If this sounds like something you've ever experienced, then you'll probably be able to relate.
Anna Faris is hilarious, and it's so awesome to have a stoner comedy featuring a woman stoner.
Watch it.
f 2 c k !!!

You Fit Into Me by Margaret Atwood [17 Mar 2010|02:44pm]
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye
f 2 c k !!!

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